2017 – The Year of Learning and Relearning 

Happy New Year beautiful people of LaLa Land.  Yes, I know this is coming late as it is already nine days into the new year – I might have started this post a year ago and failed to complete it (these a year ago jokes really must stop lol) . I’d blame my upcoming school exams for the delay in completion. There really should be a law against writing exams in January and during harmattan. It is just not fair. 

For those who have been subscribers of my blog for the last two years – beautiful people, I appreciate you all – you would understand that my tagline changes every year. 2017 was tagged “discovering what really matters” and the tag came really late amidst waiting for the euphoria of a new year. There was me anticipating the sensation, push and difference that comes with a new year, wanting spontaneity, while watching days slip by until I seized responsibility for my existence and decisions.

Yet, 2018 is about being even more intentional and I have decided that my goal is growth. I understand that I am not who I was yesterday, this girl has learnt a number of lessons albeit amidst a lot of dissatisfactions and uncertainties.

 The Seven Lessons of 2017

  • It does not really matter

    The conclusion to my journey of discovering what really mattered was that it never actually mattered. Those sleepless nights I tried to figure out if stuffs would work out, had constant nightmares replaying my fear of failing, I really should have just slept. When I reeled in regrets over mistakes and wrong decisions, I really should have just let go and moved on. 

    I told my friend Olamide that the number of times I cried in 2017 was altogether more than all the tears I cried my whole life. Something always went wrong.  Early into the year, my PC crashed and I lost every single backup for over five years, a 20 page plus assignment, a journal and everything you can think of.  There was the persistent health battles and body pains. The falling CGPA and constant failures. The regular rejections even after a lot of hard work. In 2017, Buchi Emecheta, Don WIlliams, and Jennie died. Family law gave me a 56 out of 100. I had the weirdest set of roommates and for the first time I really hated the one whole year I had to spend in a room all through.I made and lost friends.

    I stuttered, stammered and gained confidence. I broke down over and over and over again. Yet in the end, I only learnt that it did not actually matter. The tears, anger, frustration and disappointments. The end was that it was going to be okay anyway and in a little while, it would just be a string of letters on my blog reminding me there was a time things were tough.

    For 2018 – worry less, praise more

    • Choose your day

    This lesson came to me the first part of the year and in a funny way, I forgot all through till the year ended. I let the actions, reactions and inactions of certain persons determine how I felt about everything else and never again would I let anyone except myself have that power over me. The plan is to make decisions independent of emotions, stop waiting for a spark to start, but rather be my own catalyst. 

    • Building the right friendships matters

    I never realized that I was one of those persons who found it easy to just refer to anyone as “a friend” until I received an extremely long lecture from Mo. I neglected to consciously separate acquaintances from friends and I had never deliberately chose a friend myself. Consequently, I was just really surrounded by everybody and nobody. In 2017, I made a mental catalogue of who were my friends and weren’t and what is left is a really tight list to those who actually matter.

    Thanks to Instagram for keeping this picture for me. February 2017, OAU. One of the many I lost when my PC crashed less than a month later. The day before I learnt the importance of the right friendships and valuing friends

    • It is really okay to cry

    In a year were seeds of disappointments birthed fruits of tears, I accepted that I was human and it was okay to meltdown. That crying doesn’t make me weak and breaking down simply builds me up stronger.

    • I think I don’t know law anymore

    I had my lowest grades ever last year and I immediately panicked. What if I really never knew Law and I had just been lucky? I only aced a law course and the rest was just a struggle for the lower grades. Of course, I was disappointed but there is me also being grateful knowing it could have been worse. Law please be nice this year and let me make my mom and dad proud. 

    • Things Always Fall into place

    Life never really happens the way we plan, if it did we would never have uncertainties and be scared of the ‘morrow. Imagine knowing everything would be perfect, there would no longer be a need for a God and life would just be a community of clashes worse than we have now. Different people with opposing needs would battle for the supremacy of theirs in a planet of pride, self and conceit devoid of both humility and love for others.

    Truth is, things take time and would happen when they are supposed to. There is no point beating yourself over past mistakes or unending questions of doubt.

    From my addiction to the popular BreakOrMakeup Instagram page, I observed that many girls got pregnant for the wrong person outside marriage and had to deal with being single moms. In my society, this is the ultimate stigma. Your parents would never stop the taunt with their eyes, gestures and sometimes harsh words even after they have forgiven you. And until you accept your flaws and mistakes, you would simply cry over and over wishing you had control over time.

    • God Speaks and Listens

    2017 was the first time I actually heard God speak clearly with accurate words of knowledge concerning certain things. A time in which my spiritual life was predominantly a fluctuation of the high and low, God spoke and listened. I am grateful for this miracle, for having a best friend, comforter and helper in the Holy Spirit. Most of all, for God’s word which is always a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. 

    Dear 2018,

    The tag is Evolving and the goal is growing into who I’m supposed to be. 

    Preshy Lala

    This is definitely the best picture of 2017

    2017 Special Credit – O.E.O, the glow in my dark ♥ 


    Never Too Late 

    Hi 2017, 

    They say a new year stands for new beginnings, new resolutions, new goals and aspirations. A time to start afresh, fix mistakes and settle to be better. 
    Why then don’t I feel this rave? Why is yesterday the same as today, today as tomorrow. It’s like 2016 never ended and 2017 isn’t here yet. You really should have waited you know. Waited for me to get on my feet, overcome the helplessness and uncertainty, start to live. 

    Am I a hypocrite for always telling people, “Live life to the fullest, Life’s short and living is a choice” when in actual fact all I do is stare at time hoping it’d pass while I drown in emptiness.
    Hey, I thought a new year would be the solution but it turns out that nothing really changes, except we make it so. 
    The  truth is, if I keep waiting to feel different and for life to force me to live, then it’d be 2018 and I’d still be waiting. 
    I’ve decided to make out my own fresh start and begin to breath again. 

    So here’s a happy new year to me, though 14 days late. I don’t know what fate has in store for me this time but I’ve decided this year’s going to be about figuring out what I want to be. 
    I want to be certain of my life’s direction, my career choice, my spiritual stand, my personal beliefs and most especially myself. 

    Do I really want to practice Law and if yes, what aspect of Law anyway? After a week of interning, I noticed Litigation Lawyers are really sober, strict looking and hardly smiles and Lawyers in the Commercial department are in fact the opposite. Well, I sure know I don’t want wrinkles pretty early. 
     When I was younger, I’d tell myself to wait patiently to see where life leads. I even finally decided to study Law a day to the submission of my form. It didn’t really matter then, things always worked out in the end. 

    Truth is, I don’t want to be the biblical description of a person tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine anymore. 
    I’m tired of not being totally certain of what the Bible actually says. Do we all go to heaven no matter what, as long as we believe, or do we have to work hard for it? Is God all love and kind and sweet or is he wicked and punishes every bad sneeze? 

    Does evil really exist in my family and do I really have to join in prayers fighting forces and demons and mountains I don’t see anywhere? 
    I’m tired of different Pastors with different doctrines, trying to plant fear in people’s hearts. I really need to know for myself what I believe in and what I do not. Some months back, someone stole from me during a church service and what really hurt was the fact that the Preacher was talking about free salvation without fear and it didn’t mean anything to the person. So I wonder even till now, does anyone actually listen to the gospel? Does it really change anyone or are we all deceiving ourselves? 

    Anyway, it’s time to live, love and laugh. To return those calls from old friends I refused to answer, make new friends and notice the little beauties of life. I can’t remember when last I sat under the stars singing to heavenly bodies about how I’m going to make it big and impact many lives. When last I stayed under the rain getting myself all wet to make me feel new. Hell! What happened to me?.

    Positivity  and confidence is what defines me and I’d let it guide me this new year as I shut my ears to the noise that has blocked my reasoning. Happiness is actually something you take for yourself not wait for it to be given to you, and it’s actually FREE!!! 
    Welcome to MAP, 2017. Let’s make it awesome. 

    ρя£sђ¥  ℓąℓą

    Motivation Credit: Mayowa, for the push and for being there.