She Conquered One

There’s no more beautiful feeling than finishing a project you started – finally getting a degree, seeing an excellent examination result, dotting the last sentence of a writeup, ending a successful tenure.. I could go on. 

Today my fellowship’s Evangelism week came to an end and I’m so glad it went so well. Of course, God started it and finished it. 

Few months back, I slowly started regretting accepting the responsibility of coordinating Evangelism. 

What do I know about preaching to people? 

I don’t even know the Bible so much 

I solemnly promised myself:

Next year Precious you’re rejecting any such duty. You’re not ready for leadership. 

But hey, She came, she saw, she conquered… Yaaay. 

I decided to make out a list of things I learnt from taking out this position:

  • We Judge too fast: I pride myself in being understanding and empathic of people’s decisions and actions. I’m that annoying friend that would make excuses for the person you’re ranting to me about. Turns out, I’m not as understanding afterall. During one of the Evangelism rounds, I paired people to go visiting and I personally picked my partner randomly. While we were leaving together, she started speaking in Jenifaric  English and I could feel my tummy suppress and my chest constrict – I couldn’t breathe anymore. If you don’t know, mimicking Jenifa is one thing I do not like. I began to regret my partner choice.

She kept on talking about everything and anything and when she started criticising a particular religious sect I decided I didn’t like her one bit (don’t judge me for judging her hun). Then she stopped to buy corn and told the woman, “Enikan duro de wa”, which means there’s someone waiting for us. My brain screamed, “Liar! We’re going to evangelize.” 

Turns out, this girl really is an amazing, deep Christian. I was wrong, judged her too fast, disliked her too early and I’m glad I met someone so cool. 

  • There are beautiful People– What else can I use to describe people who sacrificed time, money, energy and their all to make the week a success? Members of my fellowship who had so many obligations including final year students with projects and a friend with swollen eyes. They supported all through and helped to bring smiles on people’s faces. And my amazing classmates who gave out despite the recession for the orphanage visit, Sighs! Beautiful people everywhere. 
    • Leadership involves sacrifice: At this moment, I’m tempted to shout “I swear”.  There were points I got frustrated of life dealing me hard blows of stress and moments I had to forgo certain important events to me.  

    Had to ask Chi, “Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I was just a student, no church excoship, no LSS position, no L and D, no chess and  every other thing I’m engaged  in I can’t remember rn. Would I be happier? Better academically? Less stressed and worried?”
    He says, “I don’t think *YOU* would. Almost certain you would be more stressed n worried…”  (directly copied from whatsapp) 

    Of course, he’s right. I’d die of doing nothing. 

    I think the greatest test of Leadership wasn’t just my trying so hard to arrive before anyone else (I ended up failing though) but was at the Orphanage visit today. 

    Am I a hypocrite for shrinking back for a few seconds when that little skinny kid with sores and scars ran to hug me before I carried him up? 

    Am I pitiful for being scared I’d catch a disease when the sicklooking kids touched me? 

    Am I weak for needing one very big hug in the presence of suffering and pain? 

    Is it disappointing that I cried when I should have stood tall like the view of underfed sick children didn’t faze me? 

    I do not know. I’m still learning to be a leader. 


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    What If (Revised Edition/Honourable Mention Entry SMC July) 

    Hello beautiful people! How has life been treating you? Hope you’ve been chasing those big dreams of yours, 2016 is still tagged DreamChasing and it’s not over until it’s over.

    I got a honourable mention for my entry on Storried. Turns out I got a mail since August which I never read (Who else scrolls swiftly through their mails without checking them?) and I got published on their  website without even realizing it. 

    While I was disappointed about so many things going wrong, this sure came at the right time and I really appreciate Storried for being people of integrity and taking so much effort to contact me. Continue reading

    Faith Storms 

    Faith is a fragile thing. On Sunday the preacher kept declaring that “Faith isn’t about feelings but what the Word of God says”. 

    I remember nodding my head in total agreement. It sounded purely logical – our belief in the existence of God isn’t about feelings either. I was sure I’d always be confident in God come what may.

    How then do you tell this to a girl who prayed hard and believed so much despite the fact that are exams went really bad and ended up seeing a very awful result. Or that mother who believed so much for a healing notwithstanding what medical reports said and ended up losing her young daughter.

    Continue reading

    My Father

    My fist shook resentfully as I heard the words, “Let Winner go”.
    He knew how much I hated going outside the house yet insisted on being inconsiderate. The morning newspaper before him with his glasses perched on his nose looking like the beak of an eagle, I badly wanted to stab his heartless heart over and over and gleefully watch his blood ooze out painfully from his lifeless body. Continue reading

    Letter to the DreamKeeper

    Dear Mr DreamKeeper,
    Shouldn’t we get over our fears as time goes on? Isn’t time supposed to heal all wounds and clean all tears?
    The fear of the dark and the fear of standing in front of crowds. The fear of enclosed places and the fear of heights. The fear of dying by suffocation or dying by heat. The fear of getting heartbroken or being betrayed. The fear of forgetting a line or flopping a speech. The fear of losing a loved one or they losing you. The fear of finding out that little sharp chest pain is what it shouldn’t be. Those little fears that poke our subconscious and we pretend they don’t exist…
    Continue reading