In my Head

For this warmth 


There are many things to be grateful about in life, especially life itself and health. It’s really hard to understand the value of the everyday ability to stand up, eat, play and do whatever you feel like doing because it is something habitual, an ordinary routine. But when you fall really sick and all you want to do is cry because every part of you hurts and you can’t do anything, you realize how wonderful it is you’ve been well all through the year and you’re grateful for little blessings.

Tonight I’m thankful for having a home and a family. There’s this violent breeze and the doors are swinging open and close. It is the type that accompanies the heaviest of rainfalls and you run to shut the windows because you know the wind would convey rainwater.

There is also a newly discovered leaking roof in my house that affects one of the rooms. Though you can’t see the opening and the drops come in slowly, it still feels really weird knowing your house actually has a leaking roof. I’ve read in newspapers about houses getting flooded and the roof carried away by powerful winds. There was the scene in the chess movie Queen of Katwe where her mom’s house got flooded and her little brother was almost carried away by the water. I shiver at this thoughts even as the rain becomes stormier outside. I’m warm and grateful I don’t live in a flooded house.

Tonight I remember some years back when I felt firsthand what it meant to be homeless and alone, or at least that’s how I felt. I had gone to see one of my best friends and when it was time to leave, the clouds showed signs it was going to rain. I however wanted to buy popcorn on the street and I insisted we stopped to get it. She had to go back inside to get the money for the popcorn and by the time she was back and we purchased the popcorn, the rain had already started drizzling. I figured I could make it home in time as my house was about 15 minutes away. I was halfway home when the rain became really heavy and fierce. I could either continue running home under the rain or just wait for it to stop, so I decided to wait under the covering of a locked shop. While I waited, the rain got more intense and I realized I was alone, cold and abandoned under the rain with popcorn and a wet phone. Then came the lightning and thunder, I hugged myself really tight. My skirt and shirt were wet to my underwear and all I wanted to do was cry. Now that I look back, it would have been really comforting having someone else around. It felt like the world planned a party and left me out. There was that disappointed part of me asking God why he’d leave me alone in such terror and I think at that moment I figured I was alone in life and in the end I’ll fight my battles on my own.
After what felt like years, the rain subsided a little and I went home in it, through the already flooded streets. I remember getting to my room, stripping off my heavy wet dress and eating soaked popcorn while crying. Being home was warm, but I couldn’t forget how it felt to be cold.

Even now I shiver. As much as I love the rain, I don’t ever want to be deserted, soaked and homeless. I’m thankful for having a home and a family. I’m thankful for this warmth and everyday blessings.

Family ❤


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