“The one good thing about losing everything is that you have nothing else to lose”
I’ve always wanted to have a quote attributed to me and I think I’ve finally found the right one.
I can see philosophy or history students a thousand years from now trying to discern what this smart ancient philosopher meant when she said this. Philosophers and authorities probably thought up their famous deep ideas and quotes based on situations they passed through or events around them.
Well, when your phone crashes and you lose all your data, contacts, drafts, musings, blackmail messages, pictures and videos because you’ve never taken backing up seriously, you come up with something witty like,
“Sometimes the past needs to be erased for the future to be created”.
Boom! That’s a quote waiting to be cited.
Then you realize you don’t even have your closest friends’ contacts anymore and you wonder if fate had collaborated with distance to separate you from your friends, you comfort yourself,
“Fate separates two, a true friend finds you”
Three aphorisms in one day? I’m considering becoming a judge so I’d be giving low-key witty dictums like Late NikiTobi JSC.
Socrates is credited to have said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
I can imagine the old man being unable to solve a child’s riddle and feeling all bad, he humbly came up with that. Alternatively he could have gotten frustrated one cold morning about not knowing so many things – why do I have big eyes, why do I hate pineapples, why are grasses green and not blue and other serious stuffs like that. (you’re free to disagree)
And when things weren’t going well for Zeno and life wouldn’t go as planned, he decided affirmatively, “Fate is the endless chain of causation, whereby things are; the reason or formula by which the world goes on.”
Basically, situations both good, bad and ugly, make us ask questions and come to our own personal conclusion. Apparently, this was what my philosophy lecturer in 100l was trying to explain when he kept emphasizing “We’re all philosophers by nature”. Dr Afolayan would be proud of me right now (except it doesn’t change my awful result in that course).
First Semester of my second year is over and I’m mostly grateful to God for those little change-ups on my behalf. I survived. Second semester would be great, I believe – amazing course-mates, amazing friends, new goals, new church, new addictions.
Chess, I was told, is a game modelled after ancient kings and…. Okay, I really wasn’t listening. I was more interested in playing and winning.
Some chess players play chess because they get to think, plan and win. According to a friend, it involves strategy, endless combinations and tactical battles.
Sighs! I still can’t see any of that. It’d take so much energy anticipating the other player’s moves and planning what I’d play to win. What if they don’t play the way you anticipated, you’d re-think?
Moving those cute pieces is however a whole lot alluring, as well as giving up the not so important pawns in exchange for higher pieces. It’s called inequitable exchange (coined that up). I love the Queen mostly, she’s smart and can go just anywhere.
I believe I want to be a Chess Queen – strong, powerful, confident and useful. Capture my Queen and you just awoke the angry bird inside of me (why is that game even called angry birds?).
The fear of failure is however one silent dominating aura. It isn’t always about something as big as an examination, election, project and the likes. It could be that tiny heaviness in your heart that prevents you from doing what you love because you’re scared of what people will say or speaking out your ideas because you think people will laugh at you.
Failure is not always not getting what you want. It isn’t always about falling down and being knocked about. It’s also not doing what you love and want. You’ve failed, if people steal your happiness. You’ve failed, if you let life or anyone limit you.
Back to Chess…
Despite my love for moving cute pieces, the fear of playing all wrong and making a stupid move (not losing exactly) grips me when I play, then I start wondering if I’m smart for chess.
I’m scared the knight is right there about to capture my beautiful Queen and instead I save my pawn from the rook because I wasn’t paying attention. Then people smack their heads beside me, their look saying it all.
Or when someone beside me nudges me to checkmate my opponent’s King with the rook and bishop that were right in front of me, while I was in actual fact fighting Queen v Queen v Pawns war and my head screams “You sure you’re not dumb? You could have thought up that yourself if you’re smart enough”
Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision, loving the wrong person, picking the wrong answers, accepting the wrong argument, focusing on the wrong dimension, stop you from doing what you want to do. I believe being happy is more important than being right.
Truth is, I really have no plan when I fight the war on the black and white board, the same way I have no plan in the fight against the black and white manifestations of life itself. I do not have a clear picture of my future yet, but I know one thing for sure – I’m staying happy.
I hope I become a really good Chess player at the end of the day, but until then I’d let my love for moving cute little board pieces fight my fear of making a mistake.
Preshy’s New Semester Forecast:
- Read lots of good books
- Become a better writer
- Take my academics seriously
- Learn graphic designing
- Become a photographer
- Limit my limitations
- Help people to know who they’re are in Christ and what they have in Christ
- Stay Single and Happy
- Make people happy
Picture Credit – Salau Hafeezah, the writer of the whispers of my heart