Blue

Have you ever misplaced something really important to you?
There’s this empty depressed feeling you get and if by chance rain is falling heavily at that same moment, the gloomy weather just seems like a solemn invocation of beats to your heavy heart.

Shreeera shraaaa raaa the rain keeps singing
If you won’t cry we’d offer tears on your behalf I hear them say

Knees on the dusty white tiles, staring underneath your wooden bed, you see the cap you’ve been subconsciously looking for and the biro you thought you left on the table.
What is it with fate poking me with things I don’t need right now in lieu of what I’m looking for.

Opening the wardrobe you mess up all your clothes and rearrange them while trying to find something you know you didn’t leave there. Maybe it got mixed up with a dress or something. Oh! See my teeth collection I’ve had since primary school. Can I exchange you for what I’m looking for instead?

You search your table for the hundredth time. This is where I always keep it even if I’m sleepwalking. Lifting the books and checking the not-bulging pages for the umpteenth time hoping it miraculously appears there; you flip, shake, wave, and flay.

The drawers that have been closed all day. Hey maybe it slipped in via magic. Your heart beats as you run through it, promising the little goblins that you won’t ask questions if it eventually ends up there.

No! It’s not there… It’s not anywhere.
Sitting on the bed retracing your steps, reliving the whole day… It’s still no where to be found.

The rain keeps falling and you ask why?
The melancholic drops of tears from fate’s harsh laughter.

What did I do wrong, who did I piss off? I was extra nice today and even gave my brother a loan. Why then is life treating me like this.
I feel depressed and somber. I really should cry it all out or sleep it off but I can’t (I cry once a year). This is a gibberish post from a depressed girl. I’d probably delete it as soon as I get back on my feet.
But for now, I’d write away my sorrows and hopefully tomorrow the rays of the sunlight would bring hope.

Writers note – It’s already 9:00pm and I still can’t find my gold chain.
A birthday gift from my dad on my sixteenth birthday.
Sad, empty, depressed… That’s how I feel

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