Nine Random Feelings 


Hugging someone you love and being hugged tighter in return. The feeling of home in a person. 


Staring through the window from the back seat of a bus and watching different persons walk by. You realize you’re one of a billion people in existence and maybe no one, not even the Creator cares you’re alive.  And in the appearance of perfection in certain transient beings, you suddenly wish your life was different and somehow you were older, prettier, richer, smarter or at least luckier. 


The uncertainty in your belly and constriction of your chest when you remember the first four lines of a poem from an English textbook in primary 4 even though you cannot recollect the name or face of your English teacher anymore. 

“What has fate in store for me, 

Riches , happiness and all the best?

 Poverty, misery and all the worst? 

 I must now have my future unfolded”

And somehow in your nine-year-old head you’re conscious of how unsure, full of doubt life is and how the fear of the morrow is the greatest of all fears. 


Climbing the kitchen wooden stool to look through the mirror lens on the front door, wondering if someday you’d grow tall enough to see through without a stool. Contemplating if you’d ever be tall enough, big enough, old enough. Pondering if life would let you grow up. 


The nostalgic feeling of wanting to be young again and reliving certain moments all over. 

-Hearing Don Williams and Kenny Rogers play from the audio player in your Father’s room and trying to cram the lyrics of “Cowards of County” and “I believe in you”.

-Being unable to sleep every afternoon, while praying everyone else naps for the next one year like the characters in “Sleeping Beauty” so you can continue to read a book, day dream or play with yourself alone on the floor in the sitting room, for forever


Walking a lengthy lonely road all by yourself. Kicking up dusts and thinking about everything and nothing. And hoping that suddenly, along the way, you’d meet a miracle that would change your life and bring a smile. 


The numb feeling when you receive the news of a person’s death. All you want to know was their last thoughts. 


Trying to figure out when and how you’d die.

– Maybe while out swimming with friends, you’d feel a tightening in your chest from water trying to choke your breath. A certain form of cleansing, baptism – if indeed this is how it feels to drown. 

Or maybe on a sad, cold depressed evening you’d choose to overdose on pills because it’s easier and peaceful. 

And if you’re lucky, you’d perchance grow old with a glow at your side, after a lifetime together, hands clasped in true love that really was forever, as your spirits fly into the heavens. 

Whichever way it happens, you know it would be nice to get a notification before it’s time. Maybe then you’d do it right. Yeah, get to die right. 


Lastly, finding yourself in darkness. After existence. And realizing there’s no heaven, hell or forever. It’s just you alone with your memories in nothingness. 

Preshy Lala 


2017 – The Year of Learning and Relearning 

Happy New Year beautiful people of LaLa Land.  Yes, I know this is coming late as it is already nine days into the new year – I might have started this post a year ago and failed to complete it (these a year ago jokes really must stop lol) . I’d blame my upcoming school exams for the delay in completion. There really should be a law against writing exams in January and during harmattan. It is just not fair. 

For those who have been subscribers of my blog for the last two years – beautiful people, I appreciate you all – you would understand that my tagline changes every year. 2017 was tagged “discovering what really matters” and the tag came really late amidst waiting for the euphoria of a new year. There was me anticipating the sensation, push and difference that comes with a new year, wanting spontaneity, while watching days slip by until I seized responsibility for my existence and decisions.

Yet, 2018 is about being even more intentional and I have decided that my goal is growth. I understand that I am not who I was yesterday, this girl has learnt a number of lessons albeit amidst a lot of dissatisfactions and uncertainties.

 The Seven Lessons of 2017

  • It does not really matter

    The conclusion to my journey of discovering what really mattered was that it never actually mattered. Those sleepless nights I tried to figure out if stuffs would work out, had constant nightmares replaying my fear of failing, I really should have just slept. When I reeled in regrets over mistakes and wrong decisions, I really should have just let go and moved on. 

    I told my friend Olamide that the number of times I cried in 2017 was altogether more than all the tears I cried my whole life. Something always went wrong.  Early into the year, my PC crashed and I lost every single backup for over five years, a 20 page plus assignment, a journal and everything you can think of.  There was the persistent health battles and body pains. The falling CGPA and constant failures. The regular rejections even after a lot of hard work. In 2017, Buchi Emecheta, Don WIlliams, and Jennie died. Family law gave me a 56 out of 100. I had the weirdest set of roommates and for the first time I really hated the one whole year I had to spend in a room all through.I made and lost friends.

    I stuttered, stammered and gained confidence. I broke down over and over and over again. Yet in the end, I only learnt that it did not actually matter. The tears, anger, frustration and disappointments. The end was that it was going to be okay anyway and in a little while, it would just be a string of letters on my blog reminding me there was a time things were tough.

    For 2018 – worry less, praise more

    • Choose your day

    This lesson came to me the first part of the year and in a funny way, I forgot all through till the year ended. I let the actions, reactions and inactions of certain persons determine how I felt about everything else and never again would I let anyone except myself have that power over me. The plan is to make decisions independent of emotions, stop waiting for a spark to start, but rather be my own catalyst. 

    • Building the right friendships matters

    I never realized that I was one of those persons who found it easy to just refer to anyone as “a friend” until I received an extremely long lecture from Mo. I neglected to consciously separate acquaintances from friends and I had never deliberately chose a friend myself. Consequently, I was just really surrounded by everybody and nobody. In 2017, I made a mental catalogue of who were my friends and weren’t and what is left is a really tight list to those who actually matter.

    Thanks to Instagram for keeping this picture for me. February 2017, OAU. One of the many I lost when my PC crashed less than a month later. The day before I learnt the importance of the right friendships and valuing friends

    • It is really okay to cry

    In a year were seeds of disappointments birthed fruits of tears, I accepted that I was human and it was okay to meltdown. That crying doesn’t make me weak and breaking down simply builds me up stronger.

    • I think I don’t know law anymore

    I had my lowest grades ever last year and I immediately panicked. What if I really never knew Law and I had just been lucky? I only aced a law course and the rest was just a struggle for the lower grades. Of course, I was disappointed but there is me also being grateful knowing it could have been worse. Law please be nice this year and let me make my mom and dad proud. 

    • Things Always Fall into place

    Life never really happens the way we plan, if it did we would never have uncertainties and be scared of the ‘morrow. Imagine knowing everything would be perfect, there would no longer be a need for a God and life would just be a community of clashes worse than we have now. Different people with opposing needs would battle for the supremacy of theirs in a planet of pride, self and conceit devoid of both humility and love for others.

    Truth is, things take time and would happen when they are supposed to. There is no point beating yourself over past mistakes or unending questions of doubt.

    From my addiction to the popular BreakOrMakeup Instagram page, I observed that many girls got pregnant for the wrong person outside marriage and had to deal with being single moms. In my society, this is the ultimate stigma. Your parents would never stop the taunt with their eyes, gestures and sometimes harsh words even after they have forgiven you. And until you accept your flaws and mistakes, you would simply cry over and over wishing you had control over time.

    • God Speaks and Listens

    2017 was the first time I actually heard God speak clearly with accurate words of knowledge concerning certain things. A time in which my spiritual life was predominantly a fluctuation of the high and low, God spoke and listened. I am grateful for this miracle, for having a best friend, comforter and helper in the Holy Spirit. Most of all, for God’s word which is always a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. 

    Dear 2018,

    The tag is Evolving and the goal is growing into who I’m supposed to be. 

    Preshy Lala

    This is definitely the best picture of 2017

    2017 Special Credit – O.E.O, the glow in my dark ♥ 

    Things Fall Apart To Fall Into Place 

    This is a three in one article and it might be lengthy, kindly permit me. The fact that I have not written in a while is not because there was nothing to write about but because I have truly been busy. Very busy. (Ps: I started the birthday writeup on the 30th of October and never got to edit and post)

    The birthday

    The time says 11:37pm and somehow, I hope I would complete this post before 12. Yet if I do not, I understand it does not really matter because I have grown and with growth comes understanding. Today, I turned 19.

    I believe it is a criminal offence to own a personal blog and not write a birthday post. Notwithstanding my other pending responsibilities, I write this even as the day comes to an end. Truth is, I planned to breeze through today, take time out to maybe quietly ruminate on why I have had pimples since JSS1 alongside other serious philosophical questions. Somehow, it turned out a whole lot different and yet I want to shout Eureka, I have found it.

    For those who do not know my age, I am 19. I learnt to pretend I was older than my age from secondary school and some way, I thought it was easier to get respect and escape the awful jokes made at younger persons by pretending I was the same age as the bullies. But truth is, while we all made awful jokes at Marvellous for being 14 and immature, I was also 14 too not 16. And slowly, I learnt to be ashamed of my real age, at being too young to be so smart and then lie I was older to be let into the adult jokes and escape the ridicule thrown at younger persons for simply being young. 

    But today I became 19 and today I have decided to be 19. I have decided to not care if anyone thinks I am too young to be a year 3 law student, to have achieved certain things or to be aiming to achieve certain things.

    Somehow, this is getting cliché on my blog but indeed I am grateful today. For religion, that makes death less fearful. For family, my origin and squad. For friends, ever supportive and full of love. For myself, because I have grown.

    A week back I thought my life was a mess because I had so many things to do and somehow it felt like I wasn’t in control. I might have cried a couple of times but this only proves I do not have it easy as it seems and I do deal with my fears, sometimes with tears. I have two debates coming up and truth is I am scared. Scared of that one thing I do not know yet when I would overcome it, failure. 

    They say man is evil, mean and wicked. But today all I see is beautiful people. Or maybe I have never met man himself. To call specific names of persons who made 19 worth looking forward is an avenue to commit the offence of omission and yet I have to call certain names. 

    Dear john, thank you for passing by one random Sunday and listening to a stranger. Dear Nifemi, thank you for always being the best you can be, it amazes me every day. Dear Moyo, thank you for reminding me of how much I have grown, sometimes I do forget. Dear Bakar, thanks for eventually being the one to make me cry, your beautiful words are inscribed in stone. Dear beautiful people, thank you for being beautiful people and reminding a girl of what love means. Dear Precious, thank you for being me and I you. Most of all, Dear God, thank you for being a father to a silly, lazy, confused 19-year-old girl still trying to understand who you are and how she fits into your plan.

    For everyone who described me as “full of life”, I would try my best to indeed live life and not disappoint you guys.

    Happy 19th birthday Precious Akinkuolie. Do not forget to value love and friendship. Do not take people for granted. Do not stop being you, even the newer version that evolves every day. And most of all, when it seems like someone has taken over the wheels of your life and you are not in control, remember you have two options. To either snatch the wheels, sit comfortably on the car seat and decide how you want your life to go or you can move to the other seat and calmly leave the fight for control to God while scrolling through Instagram and wasting your data on Maraji.
    The breakdown

    The truth is people who smile might not be happy and behind the laughter and excitement might be rivers of tears and a lot of breakdowns. I have reached that point in the semester where I start questioning the decisions that brought me to where I am. Though this time I do not question why I decided to study law and not psychology or sociology that I could have probably passed easily, but rather I wonder how I became involved in so many things that I really am unable to breathe. Actually, I literally am unable to breathe.

    The fact is most people consider me oversabi or too ambitious due to my interest in so many activities. At a point, I might have started listening until Diran said something like, “this generation does so little that when a person finally does a little more it seems like too much”. This stuck yeah and indeed has kept me going. But somehow, I cracked under the pressure and a little health issue might have played a huge role in this too. With so many tests coming up, a summit, the debates and the fact that I had only completely read only one course out of 7 and somehow my CGPA decided to sway to and fro like a tattered kite from the poem “boy on a swing” coupled with a terrible ex-best friend, I ended up with a mental collapse. But with good friends come strength to go through anything and if I learnt anything from this breakdown, it is to stay away from toxic people or anyone or anything that brings stress or problem in any unnecessary manner, not because I am self-centered but because I understand the importance of a good mental state to life. (just in case you are down, depressed or going through a breakdown, please stay away from drugs, kick out toxicity and hold on to beautiful and good friends). 

    The Failure 

    And yes, this is the best part. For those who know me well, this is my greatest fear and the reason why when I try new things I tell no one until it works out so when I fail I get to deal with it alone. I write this post about three hours after my debate at Jaw war and after a lot of tears (It’s hard writing so many personal stuffs here as it feels I’m saying too much and opening up too wide, yet I try to tell myself it’s important I come back a long time later to measure how much I have grown and see how far I have come).

    I have had two failures back to back and if I am to add my tort test where I used the wrong principles and cases especially describing a monkey as a non-dangerous animal and a dog as dangerous under the tort of strict liability relating to animals (if you don’t understand the legal jargons just skip lol), then we are counting three. The first was when I forgot my lines at a debate competition and ruined my partners chance of winning a large sum of money even when he gave a 100% perfect speech and the second, today where I lost a competition I worked really hard for. At this point, I can totally claim I have lost whatever speaking skills I have with this back to back failure and total wastage of every single hard work, sleepless night, horrible back positions I had to put into it.  But isn’t this disappointing Mr. Adeniyi and claiming his hours of trainings and constant belief in me in ss2 was useless? And maybe as my second speaker said today, “good things fall apart so better things can fall in place”.

    Truth is, I don’t think I have overcome my fear of failure or I will anytime soon but is insisting I want to speak again and try again a sign of progress? I really do not know.

    Just so you know, my heart did not drum today like it did the yesterdays and maybe someday I would wear my failure with pride and agree I have tried. But until then, I only pray that I don’t get disappointed, rejected or have to cry to sleep anymore because what I worked hard for did not fall into place.

     Dear beautiful people especially you who cared enough to read to the end, let’s live and not breeze through life, cry and not fake the smile and constantly remind ourselves we are greater than our very own imagination, shall we?

    Preshy Lala 

    ​It’s okay, for everything not to be okay

    When I was a kid, one of the first lessons I learnt from experience and on my own was that something would always go wrong. I didn’t have to read a motivational book or the sayings of an old man, I just figured it out before I learnt the pronunciation of “bouquet”. 
    In that tiny little mind of mine, whenever I was very happy or everything was working out well, I’d tell myself, “Calm down girl, it’s coming”.

    It was always a pattern, a painful one. Soon after I get my dreamed 90% grade in school, I’d break my mother’s mirror. Or after getting a thousand naira dash from an uncle, I’d eventually misplace my new earrings. It was a pattern: good – bad – good – good – bad – bad – good. 

    At first I was angry, especially at God. Growing up in a Christian family, I understood God controlled everything and he decides whether I burn at death or live in his beautiful paradise. I couldn’t hate him of course, who wants to burn for longer than they lived on earth? But I could be angry. 

    Why the hell did you make me break those eggs? Why didn’t you stop them from falling? If you parted the red sea, you could definitely save my eggs and spare me my mother’s wrath!!! 

    I think the annoying part was not being able to decide not to like God or believe in him, because you’d go to hell fire under the ground. So I’d swallow the anger, praise and thank him for the good because I had to go to heaven. 

    Back to the patterns. I think the beautiful part was knowing it wasn’t forever. Staring at the broken vase and knowing after the punishment, something good was coming. Soon, it won’t matter anymore, even if it took months or years. 

    I learnt to live through the bad moments, the disappointments and the frustration even as a kid (of course misplacing your school fees in primary school might not be as bad as losing all your investments now, but pain is pain and disappointment is disappointment). I didn’t expect ultimate happiness, or ultimate sadness. It was a pattern: good – bad – good – good – bad – bad – good. 


    Growing up, I forgot this. From praying really hard and attending churches that promised unending joy, I believed I deserved unending happiness and good. Thus when the bad came, it hit me harder. I had prayed really hard, believed really hard, hoped really hard. 

    So I’d hate life, fate and time. Life for not being fair, fate for not letting me decide and time for not going backwards. 

    But like Bakar says, the breeze blows where it wants. I’d relearn the lesson and expect the pattern. My prayers might never always be answered, but God always gives peace and the good is always next 


    Thing is, there are moments the bad looks like it can never end. How does the pain of carrying over a course end soon? Or getting pregnant in school and disappointing your parents? Or even worse, being kicked out of school? 
    You realize even the pattern isn’t fair. The bad looks like it’s outweighing all the good you’ve ever had in your life and you just want to hurt someone or something in return for all the hurt you have to deal with. It might have been your fault or maybe not, it’s still not fair. Why must things go wrong, you deserve happiness 
    I’m not old but what I know is 

    It’s okay, not to be okay

    It’s okay, to be angry and frustrated

    It’s okay, to cry

    It’s okay, when things go wrong 

    But it’s not okay to forget that it’d eventually be okay. The good would eventually be next, it is a pattern: good – bad – good – good – bad – bad – good. 

    It’s okay, okay? 

    For Bakar, my friend with the beautiful heart. I don’t know anyone who lives as much as you do. I hope the breeze takes you to the top with ease, and life let’s you continue to live. 

    Preshy Lala 

    A little bit of reminder 

    It’s been months since I last wrote something, anything. There are voices inside me sometimes and I hear them whisper what I ought to write. They live in my head, unrelenting, refusing to leave. So I abandon my head for them and live outside my body. Outside my body is totally different from the head. In my head there are rows and rows of cabinets and they’re all arranged by alphabets except not alphabetically. Someway, they never follow the natural order of A-Z; beside the P there’s the R and then the E. 

    Yet my new home is a large hollow void. It has no beginning nor end, just darkness. I do not grope or struggle to find my way. I do not have any destination and instead I succumb to the darkness and become a part of it. We’re now one and the other. 

    I know I should go home and inside my head but I cannot answer those voices. All they want is to be heard, for me to be their speaker, but I just cannot. 
    I have to speak for myself first. And how do you lend a voice to the voiceless when you’re useless to yourself? 
    However, today’s different. Or I think it is. I do not remember my dreams after I wake but I remember the emotions. So when I tell you I had a horrible dream, I do not know whether I was chased or what by. But the bitter taste of helplessness and hopelessness would always accompany me to the land of the living.

    When I say last night’s dream was one of fulfillment, I cannot say how or why. But this I can know and feel – everything fell into place and I tasted contentment from getting all I wanted. 

    So I told Niyi because I remembered he had a little feature in my nightly drama. He then asks, “What do you want out of life”. 

    I stare around me at my dark empty not-so-new home. I cannot remember so much. I know I want a first class in the University and Law school and a lucrative job I’m good at. But that can’t be all. I cannot remember the rest. 

    This time, I start to grope in the dark, as if the answers are right before me waiting for me to grab it. 

    Who doesn’t know what they want???!!! 

    I feel there’s a genie and a clock ticking. Time has gone, he was never on my side. My wishes are not horses, I do not get a ride. 

    I’m indeed more lost than I had realize. The answer’s in my head, the home I left. I need to find my way home and remember what I want from life. 

    Dear voices, May I be your voice? 

    Writers note – Sometimes we do not write for the now but the morrow. Sometimes the aim is to look back and realize where we started from, the confusion we felt, the fear we dealt and admit that in a way, we have grown. 

    For this warmth 


    There are many things to be grateful about in life, especially life itself and health. It’s really hard to understand the value of the everyday ability to stand up, eat, play and do whatever you feel like doing because it is something habitual, an ordinary routine. But when you fall really sick and all you want to do is cry because every part of you hurts and you can’t do anything, you realize how wonderful it is you’ve been well all through the year and you’re grateful for little blessings.

    Tonight I’m thankful for having a home and a family. There’s this violent breeze and the doors are swinging open and close. It is the type that accompanies the heaviest of rainfalls and you run to shut the windows because you know the  wind would convey rainwater.

    There is also a newly discovered leaking roof in my house that affects one of the rooms. Though you can’t see the opening and the drops come in slowly, it still feels really weird knowing your house actually has a leaking roof. I’ve read in newspapers about houses getting flooded and the roof carried away by powerful winds. There was the scene in the chess movie Queen of Katwe where her mom’s house got flooded and her little brother was almost carried away by the water. I shiver at this thoughts even as the rain becomes stormier outside. I’m warm and grateful I don’t live in a flooded house.

    Tonight I remember some years back when I felt firsthand what it meant to be homeless and alone, or at least that’s how I felt. I had gone to see one of my best friends and when it was time to leave, the clouds showed signs it was going to rain. I however wanted to buy popcorn on the street and I insisted we stopped to get it. She had to go back inside to get the money for the popcorn and by the time she was back and we purchased the popcorn, the rain had already started drizzling. I figured I could make it home in time as my house was about 15 minutes away. I was halfway home when the rain became really heavy and fierce. I could either continue running home under the rain or just wait for it to stop, so I decided to wait under  the covering of a locked shop. While I waited, the rain got more intense and I realized I was alone, cold and abandoned under the rain with popcorn and a wet phone. Then came the lightning and thunder, I hugged myself really tight.My skirt and shirt were wet to my underwear and all I wanted to do was cry.  Now that I look back, it would have been really comforting having someone else around. It felt like the world planned a party and left me out. There was that disappointed part of me asking God why he’d leave me alone in such terror and I think at that moment I figured I was alone in life and in the end I’ll fight my battles on my own.
    After what felt like years, the rain subsided a little and I went home in it, through the already flooded streets. I remember getting to my room, stripping off my heavy wet dress and eating soaked popcorn while crying. Being home was warm, but I couldn’t forget how it felt to be cold.

    Even now I shiver. As much as I love the rain, I don’t ever want to be deserted, soaked and homeless. I’m thankful for having a home and a family. I’m thankful for this warmth and everyday blessings.




    Family ❤




    Environmental Change Is Everyone’s Responsibility


    Without inner change, there can be no outer change. Without collective change, no change matters – Kyodo Williams.

    While we differ in tribe, language, religion and beliefs in Nigeria, the one thing that binds the people in their diversity is the environment. The environment is the collective home of every man and thus the structure that makes a global family. The interaction of man with the environment is a natural necessity borne out of his biological makeup of psychological curiosity as well as his innate need to define, discover and develop his surroundings. Man, in a bid to survive and thrive has however left indelible consequences on the landscape and his home has now begun to fall apart with the outcome; environmental denigration, depreciation and possible destruction.

    With the rapid urbanization and industrialization in Nigeria, we are now faced with various environmental problems like desertification, deforestation, overpopulation, oil spills, loss of natural habitat and especially, pollution. While we might think these problems does and will not affect us personally, the fact is that the preservation of the environment is the preservation of us all and its destruction, our destruction.

    As reported by the Nations Encyclopedia, Nigeria lost 20% of its forest and woodland areas between 1983 and 1993 alone while Oil spills, the burning of toxic wastes, and urban air pollution are environmental problems in more developed areas of the nation. In fact, the United Nations Environmental Program in 2011 reported that the benzene level of the Ogoni people of the Niger Delta is nine hundred times higher than the World Health Organization recommendation.

    These reports are not the proverbial smoke without fire as they have led to deaths and health hazards in the country. In two news report by the World Health Organization, 1.7 million under five children die each year from diseases that are caused by air pollution and Nigeria has the largest number of most polluted cities in the world. In 2016, four Nigerian cities were further named as four of the world ‘s most populated cities – Onitsha, Kaduna, Umuahia and Aba.

    The fact is that environmental degradation is as serious a problem as corruption in the nation but while the latter enjoys loud public outcry and attention, the existence of the former is hardly attested to. It is apparent that though the average uneducated Nigerian understands that the reason why the price of a cup of rice rose from thirty naira to seventy naira is because of economic recession caused by looted funds of corrupt leaders, they are however hardly aware that the trees they cut for firewood and the waste they burn every morning outside their compound is environmentally dangerous. It is therefore apparent that urgent steps need to be taken to preserve the Nigerian environment.

    To start with, there is the need to create awareness as to environmental problems and their causes. Life is valued by men and this is why with a gun pointed to their head when asked to choose between their life and money, they unhesitantly choose to save their life. People need to be made conscious of the effect of their actions and inactions as environmental destruction is a collection of individual decisions. More so, creating awareness has helped to fight menace in the past such as the outbreak of the Ebola in 2014 and Lassa virus in 2016 wherein different organizations and institutions took it upon themselves to create awareness of the menace and people took positive steps to prevent their spread. With proper education of the public on the effects of environmental denigration and pollution, as well as its incorporation in the curricula of primary and secondary schools, we’re definitely moving towards a vehement social change of mindset and attitude towards the environment.

    Second, proper implementation of environmental laws is key in preserving the environment. Laws are important tools for guiding human behavior and ameliorating social order. There is no doubt as to the plethora of legislations regulating environment ranging from the National Environmental Standards and Regulation Enforcement Agency (NESREA) Act 2007 replacing the Federal Environmental Protection Agency Act to the Harmful Waste (Special Criminal Provisions) Act CAP H1 LFN 2004, the Nigerian Urban and Regional Planning Act CAP N138, LFN 2004, Oil in Navigable Waters Act CAP 06 LFN 2004, Section 20 of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, amongst numerous others. Notable is the fact that pre-1988, there was no policy aimed at preserving the environment in Nigeria as the government had no concern about it. The Koko incidence in 1988 was however a waking call to the government when an Italian man approached a Nigerian to dump 3880 tons of toxic and hazardous waste principally made up of polychlorobiphenyls (PCBs)whose discovery led to the creation of the Harmful Waste Decree and Federal Environmental Protection Agency. Thus, further legislations were made on environmental laws, protection and development over the years.

    Yet, an unimplemented law is of little use. Due to ineffective enforcement strategies and inadequate operating policies the laws are mere disregarded words on paper. The judicial system has also been a disappointment with delay in the court cases relating to upholding one’s right as a person to life and dignity and ability to implement decisions. The extra-judicial killing of Ken Saro Wiwa and other eight activists on November 10 1995 for daring to challenge Shell is one that remains inerasable in the history of the nation and raises the uncertainty of the ability of the courts to protect rights provided for in the law. Further disappointing is the case of Oronto Douglas V Shell Development Company Ltd & 5 ors (1999) 2 NWLR Pt 591 where the plaintiff sought a compliance with the Environmental Impact Assessment Act and the court held that the plaintiff could not institute the action since he was unable to prove direct injury caused to him. In the important case of Jonah Mpere V Shell Production Development Company & 2 Ors, where the court upheld that gas flaring was a violation of human rights, illegal and should be stopped, till date neither the oil companies nor the government have complied with the court ruling. This is a proof of the present unreliability of the Nigerian Judicial system thus necessitating a better structure for law execution and the need for just decisions. It is further proposed that there is stricter fines and punishment for violators of environmental laws. This is because injustice to the environment is injustice to all.

    Finally, there is also need for immediate societal proactivity. The society is the juxtaposition of the government, institutions and the people. A rise in action by these three forces is the collectivity that can control environmental degeneration. Most of the environmental problems in Nigeria are occasioned by the nonchalance of these trio. The agencies created by the environmental laws lack the finance to meet their obligations and perform their functions effectively as posited by Hakeem Ijaiya in his article,” Rethinking Environmental Law Application in Nigeria”. Policies such as Environmental regeneration, solid waste management, flood abatement, enforcement of pollution control for industries need to be put by the various levels of government into place in order to redeem the environment and enhance its value Thus, the need for the Nigerian government to allocate more funds for proper implementation of environmental policies and training of these agencies. It is also expected that they perform their function of equal and easy access to justice as provided for in the Legal Aids Act and Section 36 of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria for persons whose rights have been violated by pollution and misuse of the environment. Institutions, especially waste producing institution, should also take it upon themselves to promote advertisement and awareness of the dangers of pollution to the environment as was done during epidemic outbreaks. The fact is that we need to take responsibility and work together to create the difference we want to see. The people also can take the proactive step of whistleblowing and monitoring agencies as well as speaking up for their rights by instituting legal actions against corporations or government agencies in breach.

    As a national environmental family, we all need to take part in environmental actions and become agents of change for positive impacts on the planet. The combined initiative of creating awareness, proper implementation of environmental laws and proactivity of the society comprising the government, institutions and the people are strong instruments of preserving our environment, saving lives and making a difference for the generation to come. The regeneration of the environment is the collective responsibility of all Nigerians and it is high time we accept that individually we can make a difference and together, a change.

    ©Precious  Akinkuolie 

    Under the Sycamore tree 

    Tonight, we sit under the sycamore tree beside the Faculty of Pharmacy. It is a one hour walk from my hostel and how we managed to wander so far alone I cannot comprehend. It however didn’t matter, the solitude warmed the night. We gaze at the moon in silence, this night I do not want to talk about how confident and powerful she is. Instead we remember our mistakes, the yesterday that made our today and determines our tomorrow. There is an evocation of nostalgia in the air, under the sycamore tree in the Faculty of pharmacy. 

    My voice shaky, I whisper the unsaid words sitting heavily in our bellies, “Ugo, I’m scared of what we will become. I’m scared I’d disappoint everyone, fail school and fail life”.

    I cannot control the tears. 

    Ugo, my best friend in the world holds my hands tight. It feels right, it feels like home. 

    I remember the nights in Senior High when we sneaked out of our hostels to share my chocolates and sweets while laughing and dreaming in front of the dining hall. The university was supposed to be the stage where we played our script and ran our show ourselves. There, we conjured up the perfect tomorrow and the nights silently concurred. 

    Seven years later, four carryovers later, a third class grade later, two abortions later, one lifetime later; we sit and wonder whether someone else wrote the script that ran our stage. 

    The leaves sway as the breeze silently passes by, as if to say Yes, we were just actors in another man’s play. 

    I hear Ugo confidently say, as his hands clasps mine tighter, under the sycamore tree with the stars silently listening, “Ada let the worst come to the worst, we’d just teach in a primary school jare”. 

    From within my soul, I hear a crack and a deep hollow laughter begins to rise from my belly. 

    Everything was fine at home, under the sycamore tree with your best friend holding your hands. 

    For David Bestfriend, together we conquer life, conquer dreams, conquer tomorrow


    You have now become proud 

    It was the early hours of this Monday morning. This time, I wasn’t interested in mesmerizing in the dawn, pondering on how the Morning remembers to wake up every single day and wondering what will happen if he oversleeps and resumes late one day. 

    Yes, I overslept and was late today. 

    I saw the young woman as I raced on with the bike man trying to beat time. Head tightly covered with a scarf, skirt almost to her knees and speaker in hands, I did not have to listen, she was trying to fulfill the “Great commission”, her major purpose on the earth as a Christian. I did not have to check my phone either for the time, it was 5:30am.

    All I wanted to do was scream:

    Aunty, people are sleeping. Someone stayed up till 2am doing something last night – working, loving, living, surviving. If you really cared about their salvation, you could wait till day or evening to condemn th

    em and remind them about how they lied last night and would have gone to hell if they hadn’t woken up. Oh sorry, you wanted to tell them about Jesus’ love? Hell! Why make it an alarm? 

    Then I realized I wasn’t who I used to be. Precious has changed and it seems this girl is now proud. A year ago I’d have shivered at speaking against the preaching Christian. Even if they were speaking nonsense in the bus, it was more important that they were preaching in public about God. Now, it seems I’m losing my salvation, criticizing the actions of the speaker of the “truth”. 

    Few months back, a friend had to inbox me. He says, A, B, C have gone mad. They do not believe in God, I do not want our friends to go to hell fire. 

    The who I used be would have panicked, immediately opened the scriptures, selected the verses of fear and damnatiom and passionately “converted” these mad men into the light. 

    However, Precious is now proud, so she says:

    A speaks about history of the Church, how they murdered so many people in the name of the gospel, altered truths and covered up certain things. He wants to know how to believe in such shady foundation of a supposed “truth” 

    B speaks about logic, discrepancies, faults in the Bible 

    C doesn’t have any tight religious background, so he’s a free thinker and believes in all religions and the existence of various deities and wants to know why your own belief should be supreme to the rest. 

    You cannot tell people not to ask questions, not to try to discover, because that’s why we’re human and have a mind. If you cannot answer their questions, leave them and let them believe in what they want to believe in. 

    He wonders, “Has Precious now gone mad too?”. No, she’s now proud. 

    Then last night, Dumz talks about the video of a woman who went to hell and came back to warn people. She says so many things are forbidden and we’re going to be tormented forever for every little sneeze, stolen match stick, slight blunder. 

    But Precious is now proud, so she hisses and says she doesn’t believe in these things. She can no longer live in fear of these things that held her bound for so many years wondering if she’d ever make heaven or would forever burn in flames. 

    I sit at the window of this faulty bus, staring at the passing vehicles. Different people on different journeys. Some with speed, some slow. Some learners, some experts. One with certainty of his destination, another asking for direction. 

    I sit here and remember the days where I shivered in confusion, breathed in the fear of eternal damnation and prayed so hard for a mercy I already had. 

    I’ve certainly not reached the stage where I can ask too many questions and try to discover too much. I sit in my little box of shaped beliefs, yet I would never again try to stop people from questioning what is seen as untouchable and I do not give evasive, hazy answers anymore. I do not fear speaking against acts I know isn’t logical because I fear hell. Hell, I now tell people to shut the hell up without calculating how many curse words I used altogether today. 

    Point is, I’m growing in this journey. Yesterday, I used to fear asking questions speaking out and thinking hard because I wanted to make heaven. Today, I’m no longer a slave to fear. I ask whatever I want to ask, say whatever I feel like saying and question whatever I want to question. 

    Because I’m Precious and I’ve become proud. 

    Tomorrow, I do not know for sure who I’d be. But yeah, I’m evolving and I see a stronger, prouder woman ahead. 



    You gaze at the stars for hours in silence and solitude. Someone passes by and thinks, “deep thinker”.

    But only you knows how blank your mind is, with little fragments of scattered thoughts like the stars in the sky.

    The first day of every new month is like a checkpoint where you look back at where you started, look in at where you are now and forward at where you’re going.

    You do not understand how exactly two months crawled, walked, ran and then flew but you know for sure the year’s on a swift race and you have to choose whether you’re on the track or at the sideline.

    The long list of goals undone over the months stare at you, shaking their heads in the fashion of a Yoruba mother. O ma se o. It’s a pity.

    Your excuses smile sleekly at you with content, the expression on their faces similar to that which a rat gives you after helping itself to the bread you planned as your breakfast.

    2016 was rigid, I want 2017 to be more spontaneous, you say.

    But the thing about spontaneity and waiting for the right moment is that you’d wait forever for that divine push for motivation. There’s no check on your laziness to complete those half-written drafts or your nonchalance about opportunities slowly dancing past you.

    Let’s Review. 

    Basically, February was a great month for me. I decided to take certain risks, go the extra mile to remind myself about who I really am and what I seemed to be forgetting, tried to check up on old friends though I couldn’t keep up and I worked hard at ensuring I went for whatever I really wanted. However, I feel extremely under-achieved and rightly so. February was a bundle of half-written drafts, procrastination, making excuses and time-wasting. Positively, it turned out to be a month of love for me where I decided to let my butterflies flutter.

    Here’s what I discovered so far. 

    FriendshipI realized that I basically had no real deep friendship and all my relationships were superficial to an extent. I was at a point where I needed to talk to someone about so many things and I realized I really didn’t have anyone in particular I could comfortably let it all out too.  What if I was suicidal and on the verge of taking drugs, what friend would I call who would actually take me serious? I figured nobody. Isn’t it funny how we can be surrounded by so many people and yet nobody?

    FaithAt this point in my life, I’ve decided to block my ears totally to any form of arguments on faith, logic or what the scripture says. It’s mentally tiring to have people try to mess up your belief system and because you’re not so mature you almost begin to sway and the confusion starts all over. I’ve decided I would believe what I would believe in and draw a thick fat round line around it with me growing on my own. Whoever wants to join me is definitely allowed in but no one’s pulling me out of my own faith zone.

    DreamsTo be honest, I think I’m scared and too proud Continue reading

    ​The Stranger in the Rain

    As she lay on the bed, surrounded by flowers, cards, and magazines, she remembered that Monday morning. No, she remembered right from Sunday night – the unendurable heat and her inability to sleep. She was so spoilt by the regular power supply in her street, she forgot what it was to have sweat running down your back and the air conditioner turned off. Sunday night slowly became morning and it never ceased to be a mystery, the swiftness of a night while asleep, and it’s dallying while you’re awake. 

    She remembered hearing the slow tap of the rain on the roof and the awareness of the cool breeze that accompanied it. Checking the time, she realized it was 4am and for once, she wished she took the self-employment pep talk of her secondary school Vice Principal seriously. 

    He was an old man who had his trousers almost at his chest and a cane that served as both a walking stick and a I-would-not-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child weapon. His bitterness at life was unforgettable as he constantly extended his frustrations on the available backs and buttocks of the students at every little offence. Rumour had it that he used to be a popular sportsman until the accident that caused his limp, and he lost his career, fame and fortune. He never ceased to remind the students of the folly of laziness and the need for self employment as he spared not the rod. No one was ever bold enough to question his personal refusal to take his own advice. 

    All she wanted however was a good job which paid well. Dare to dream and seize the world at her finger tips, she never did. 

    She remembered not what she spent her days doing nor how she ended up a well-paid secretary, but she recalled being satisfied with her quiet little position until that Monday morning.

    The slow chill breeze from the rain made her wish she could stay in bed all day and sleep. Yet, the rhythmic music caused by the march of the rain on her aluminum roof reminded her of her obligation at work that morning and how important it was for her to be present at exactly 7am for the important visit of the new head from the merger. With all the willpower any man could have, she pulled herself and went about the business of preparing for her day ahead. 

    Her frustration from the refusal of her car to start, she recalled clearly, and recollected throwing her heels in a bag, and rushing into the rain with an umbrella to catch a bus to work at the bus stop. 

    How she loved the cold and the wetness and wanted so much to just stand soaked by the downfall, neither dreaming nor thinking. She wanted to shiver in the cold, wet to her bones and maybe remember what living felt like. Yet, real life had responsibilities and off she hurried to the distant stop. 

    What she wore, the colour of her nails and even her own name eluded her, but how he looked that morning remained engraved in her mind, never to be forgotten. He wore a red and white shirt which was slightly wet from the rain and had with him a black briefcase. He rushed up to her and motioning at her umbrella said, “May I join you please”. 

    His smile felt like Christmas morning and she recalled smiling back and offering him her umbrella. 
    There was something in his voice and the way he laughed afterwards that made a mark somewhere in her soul. He had something she was missing in her life, she could see it from his enthusiasm and aura. 

    He told her his name. 


    It turned out they were going to different destinations and they had to separate at the bus stop. 

    She remembered him turning as he was about to enter his ride saying, “Thanks for the umbrella. You saved my life”.  

    The stranger in the rain left with something important she knew her life would never be complete without, and him she forgot not. All she wanted was to run to him, to understand how one person could have so much life in him

    This was all she recollected on her death bed as she laid surrounded by a sad looking old man holding her tight, two beautiful women, and three little children. She wondered who they were but couldn’t find her voice to ask.

    The stranger who came back with his dreams, laughter, life and passion and taught her what really mattered, she remembered not. 

    The light he brought to her life alongside their two beautiful daughters, she remembered not.

    Her grandchildren who wanted to paint, sing and play the piano, she remembered not. 

    But as her demented mind and soul slowly seeped out of her body, she saw the old man with tears in his eyes, tightly clasping her fingers transform to Ken. With a smile on her face, she died with just one name on her lips, remembering only the stranger, and that rainy Monday morning. 

    ρя£sђ¥  ℓąℓą

    For Kenny, never to be seen again 


    Real life questions I need answers to

    Hello beautiful people of LaLa Land. Who else noticed we’ve been in January for like three months now and it’s still just the twenty-seventh?. 2017 will be a really long year after all.

    It’s my third week interning and it has been amazingly tiring. Getting to suit up and wear court heels, having my own office and an internet connected company laptop is nice, as well as getting to talk to lawyers and law school interns with dozens of advice and research work to help the undergraduate baby in the field. I even got to see Fani Kayode and the court proceeding against him by the EFCC and Senior Advocates collide in a Federal High Court with so much confidence in their knowledge of the Law and respect accorded to them by other lawyers, it was awesome.

    Yet, I’m super exhausted and glad I’m going to be done next week. It feels like I don’t know enough, might never know enough when it comes to law. After my first week working, I called my dad and said, “It must have been really hard. Coming home 10-11pm and leaving for work before 6am. Driving to the Island every single day, having responsibilities”. He laughed.

    Lagos traffic is crazy, the heat in the white cramped buses is crazier and not being able to just take a day off work is craziest.

    Being an adult means obligations, and I’m definitely not ready now. Can I go back to sleeping all day and watching TV during the holidays?

    Now to my real life questions!!! 

    • First question: does using the internet rather than the library make you a lazy worker?

    So this lawyer asked me to find legal authorities on a particular aspect of Law that I wouldn’t even get to study till year 4. I was so excited and I ran to the library enthusiastically. Yaay, my first legal research

    Naturally, I’d just go to the internet to find the legal position and statutory authorities on the matter but I was bothered it was the wrong way of working and I might come off as being lazy. So to the library I went; Land law, Commercial law, Landlord and Tenant law, Property and Conveyancing law, I basically read more law than I have throughout my two-year law experience

    I learnt being frustrated isn’t merely about Joshua being a pain in the neck or your little brother using all your data to download movies while you’re asleep. Knowing you know nothing and being unable to do anything about the nothing you know you don’t know is exasperating! 

    I decided to check google anyway and I was directed to a particular Lagos State law which had the provision I needed. I ran off happily to the associate (maybe using google is what it means to work smart after all). However he already specified that the Law must apply to Ikoyi, Lagos and I only read the applicable section without reading the whole Law. Turns out there was an exception in Section 2 which made the law inapplicable to Ikoyi.

    I was terribly embarrassed, a reasonable person would read Section 1 and 2 of a law at least and I knew for sure if I had not used google and stumbled on the law myself, I would have seen the exception.

    Anyway, I went back to the library and read every foreign textbook I could find including Halsbury’s Laws of England and cases in the Queen’s Bench report, Court of Chancery etc, something I’m sure most year 5 Law students have never done sef. Hours later, I decided to admit my failure and went back to the associate.

    I knew the law was there somewhere, I could feel I was searching all wrong and it made me feel stupid. 

    The associate asked whether I checked Nigerian weekly law reports, I actually did check some less bulky law reports I saw. How exactly am I supposed to check the thousands of parts of the Nigerian weekly law report anyway? He looks up and says, “that’s why there’s an index. Check the index”.

    I remembered the library visitation in Year 1 during Law102 where the lecturer took us in batches to teach us how to use Law reports. I remembered not listening and playing with my phone at the back. I felt stupider.

    Back to the library I went and for hours I sat with the hefty indexes of the law reports, checked so many cases and I eventually almost started crying. There’s this popular law quote by Lord Denning, a prominent master of law about a good lawyer being one who knows not all the law but where to find the Law.

    Even Lord Denning was trying to tell me I made the wrong career decision.

    With eyes swollen from reading more law than I’ve ever read in my life, I went back to  google and found nothing either. With frustration and shame, I admitted to the lawyer that I didn’t find anything. Turns out he had already checked and with his better knowledge of finding the law, got nothing. A youth corp law intern finally did though, through the library. I’m still not sure if it’s more professional and hardworking to use Google to find answers.

    • Second question: how do people live the everyday stress of having a job?

    One of the reasons I decided to intern was to see real law in practice and decide what I really want to do. There’s always the quote about going for your passion, doing what you love doing best etc. Believe me, they’re not mere motivational pictures you keep on your phone.

    I have a friend that studied Food Technology but works as a journalist, doing what I believe he loves. I’m however perturbed as to how the system expects us to decide what we love when we’re only taught the books and not the realities. Real practice of law isn’t “Contract can be defined as…”.

    Anyway, I’ve discovered that if you let someone else dictate what you ought to do with your life, what career path you ought to take, you’ll probably wither away and lose yourself.

    Real life, having a job, taking responsibilities and building a career is actually not a joke. It’s not like school where you can wake up one morning and take the day off because you don’t feel like going to class. You can’t decide you want to come late today or leave early tomorrow if you’re employed by someone. In fact, even if you’re the boss, you’re expected to be dedicated and work harder than you employees if you want respect. And with the high rate of unemployment, you might end up having to stick to the career you detest or you were forced to go for and believe me, everyday your soul will die, every single day.

    • Third question: what if you’re naturally lazy, how do you survive real life responsibilities?

    Haha! this might seem really funny but it is a real life thing. My friends and I make jokes about how lazy we are and how we’ve never actually finished reading up all topics before any exam. I’d always select topics and take exam risks and if it turns out negative, I most times don’t regret my laziness but promise myself to be more serious the next time (this is the difference between real lazy people and those who claim to be, we are too lazy to regret the outcome of our laziness).
    Now more seriously, there’s actually a thin line between laziness and lack of inspiration. Being asked to read up on a convention concerning biodiversity when you don’t even know what biodiversity is hard especially when every few minutes you have to checkup the dictionary for the meaning of a word. Then you begin to skim through instead of actually reading the convention and you remember this is what you actually do without your academic, skimming through textbooks and using common sense to bulldoze your way through. Then you drop the convention you’re supposed to research on altogether, check-in whatsapp, instagram, twitter, then you get to LinkedIn and see the “seven characters of successful people” article written by a billionaire and hard work, passion and creativity is listed top in bold. You know you’re never patient enough to read any law or book or article without reflexly skimming through when you lack motivation. You know get bored real fast and you’re easily distracted. You know you’re too lazy to even try to be creative and half the time to time never push yourself out to do your best. You know there’s this big void bereft of motivation in Law for you. And most of all, you know being successful isn’t an option, It’s mandatory. Then you realize you really have a big real life problem and you need to solve it real fast. 


     I couldn’t help but take this with my phone. Remember last year I wanted to learn photography? That was one unrealized dream. Anyway, this reminds me of how vast our dreams can be, etched in an ocean of uncertainty. How wide the concept of God can be and we know we cannot comprehend it ever. How deep our emotions are and how we know we might never really really know ourselves or anyone after all. RIP Buchi, you touched something in all of us. RIP Damilare, you never got to see the world. RIP Timilehin, I don’t know you personally but you deserved to swim in the tide of life. 

    ρя£sђ¥  ℓąℓą

    Never Too Late 

    Hi 2017, 

    They say a new year stands for new beginnings, new resolutions, new goals and aspirations. A time to start afresh, fix mistakes and settle to be better. 
    Why then don’t I feel this rave? Why is yesterday the same as today, today as tomorrow. It’s like 2016 never ended and 2017 isn’t here yet. You really should have waited you know. Waited for me to get on my feet, overcome the helplessness and uncertainty, start to live. 

    Am I a hypocrite for always telling people, “Live life to the fullest, Life’s short and living is a choice” when in actual fact all I do is stare at time hoping it’d pass while I drown in emptiness.
    Hey, I thought a new year would be the solution but it turns out that nothing really changes, except we make it so. 
    The  truth is, if I keep waiting to feel different and for life to force me to live, then it’d be 2018 and I’d still be waiting. 
    I’ve decided to make out my own fresh start and begin to breath again. 

    So here’s a happy new year to me, though 14 days late. I don’t know what fate has in store for me this time but I’ve decided this year’s going to be about figuring out what I want to be. 
    I want to be certain of my life’s direction, my career choice, my spiritual stand, my personal beliefs and most especially myself. 

    Do I really want to practice Law and if yes, what aspect of Law anyway? After a week of interning, I noticed Litigation Lawyers are really sober, strict looking and hardly smiles and Lawyers in the Commercial department are in fact the opposite. Well, I sure know I don’t want wrinkles pretty early. 
     When I was younger, I’d tell myself to wait patiently to see where life leads. I even finally decided to study Law a day to the submission of my form. It didn’t really matter then, things always worked out in the end. 

    Truth is, I don’t want to be the biblical description of a person tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine anymore. 
    I’m tired of not being totally certain of what the Bible actually says. Do we all go to heaven no matter what, as long as we believe, or do we have to work hard for it? Is God all love and kind and sweet or is he wicked and punishes every bad sneeze? 

    Does evil really exist in my family and do I really have to join in prayers fighting forces and demons and mountains I don’t see anywhere? 
    I’m tired of different Pastors with different doctrines, trying to plant fear in people’s hearts. I really need to know for myself what I believe in and what I do not. Some months back, someone stole from me during a church service and what really hurt was the fact that the Preacher was talking about free salvation without fear and it didn’t mean anything to the person. So I wonder even till now, does anyone actually listen to the gospel? Does it really change anyone or are we all deceiving ourselves? 

    Anyway, it’s time to live, love and laugh. To return those calls from old friends I refused to answer, make new friends and notice the little beauties of life. I can’t remember when last I sat under the stars singing to heavenly bodies about how I’m going to make it big and impact many lives. When last I stayed under the rain getting myself all wet to make me feel new. Hell! What happened to me?.

    Positivity  and confidence is what defines me and I’d let it guide me this new year as I shut my ears to the noise that has blocked my reasoning. Happiness is actually something you take for yourself not wait for it to be given to you, and it’s actually FREE!!! 
    Welcome to MAP, 2017. Let’s make it awesome. 

    ρя£sђ¥  ℓąℓą

    Motivation Credit: Mayowa, for the push and for being there. 

    Year 3!!! 

    “Thus, Development psychology is of no doubt important in bla bla bla…” Last paper done. Yet I can’t stand up to submit in front. The much awaited Tuesday is here and my heart cringes with mixed emotions – happiness, fear, regrets, mostly regrets. 

    Year 2 was many many things but I would not say perfect. It started with that terrible determination to push yourself out and try new things. In my school at least, it meant politics, leadership, joining new organizations, winning debates, dropping off worthless relationships or friendships, and CGPA patching.

    Newly admitted students would start asking questions on what they need to know to do well in Year 1. You feel the enthusiasm, even from a phone call or chat, and the passion to learn the Law. 

    Heyyyy! chill, you’re not even a Faculty of Law Student yet, welcome to Arts. You know they spent the holidays watching Suits and How To Get Away With Murder; they can’t wait to wear the black suit, perform wonders in court, and finish a court case in three days. (I still argued with my roommate in English department about How to get away with murder being totally different from real life Law. Sighs! She still doesn’t believe me, and when I try to settle it by saying someday you’d have a court case and find out for yourself, as a true Nigerian, the  “God forbid” resounded so loud, you’d think I placed a curse on her). 

    So first, lawyers in Nigeria do not wear suits but a wig, gown, beep and I don’t know the rest yet. Second, lawyers don’t argue so much in court. They read out the Law and apply it to the facts, waiting patiently for the Judge to write it all on paper. Yes, I’m serious. He writes it all on paper!! Let’s call it “dictating your arguments”. Third, court cases actually never ever finish in a week. Maybe two, three years or fifteen or more. You’d file a summon or whatever, wait thirty days for a reply, then file something else and wait seven days and it goes on like that. 

    Now don’t get me wrong, I asked a lawyer and he says it’s fun. If I remember well (thanks to my crashed phone, I can’t dig the chat), he says the beauty of advocacy is trying to find the lacuna in the other party’s argument, and manipulating it to your own advantage or something like that. 
    Eventually, the enthusiastic freshmen would discover Law wasn’t what they pictured in their head. Some would transfer to other departments like CLA, others would only care to pass, some wouldn’t care at all and attend classes only during tests, while the passionate at heart will remain passionate. 
    In year 2, you’d realize Law lecturers are divided into three: the “give-me-back-my-material” lecturers, the “check-this-case-and-that-textbook-and-this-article” lecturer, and the “I don’t even know what this one wants” lecturer. 
    The first type are those who feel they’ve done the research you need, and you reading up new things is arrogant and uncalled for. The passionate Law students are bitter towards this type of lecturers. How else would they show off their newly learnt Muhammed v Abubakar?.  The second type are passionate scholars who would force you to research and read up cases even after you’ve sworn to only use textbook cases. Personally, I think this is what passionate Law students eventually turn out to be (beware Izu, Ij). Well, the third are the unpredictable lecturers. You don’t know exactly what topics they’ve taught you and what they haven’t, and they basically spend the class combining stories about their school days, Nysc days and court appearances. It’s difficult to predict what impresses them during the exams, and you just move with the flow hoping to impress them with whatever gets them impressed. 
    Oh! Law exams are as depressing as the colour black. Even after quoting all the cases and dictums in Iluyomade and Eka (detestable is too kind a word to describe that textbook), there’s this feeling of I should have written more and fear of not pleasing the lecturer. 

    In my two years of studying Law, I’ve never seen a Law student walk boldly to the notice board to check their exam results. Hands clasped tight, lips silently praying, and hearts beating hard, we pray for a miracle of 70 (believe me, never 71). That’s how unpredictable a  Law examination result is in contrast to the mostly predictable questions.

    And when you get a 69, 64, 59, 54 or 39, there’s this bitter taste that wouldn’t leave your mouth. Of course, a salty liquid might try to force it’s way from the side of your eyes, but you just pretend to be a boss, shrug and give a bright I-don’t-care smile. That’s the Lawtitude.

    Gazing at Year 3 in 3G,  what I see is Criminal Law and Tort lovingly beckoning to me. Family law sounds boring; I predict cases about a man who married a wife under English law and the other customary law,  and the children fighting over inheritance. Triple yawn. 
    Commercial transactions?? All I see are Contract and Sagay-cious tears. 
    A few weeks to the start of Year 2, a friend in Year 4 was telling me about the Almighty Law of Contract, and I remember vividly being pissed at the hullabaloo and hype. 

    Hello!! What’s so hard about this Law of Contract anyway? 

     Oh! Carlil, Carbolic, Hyundai construction, and the rest of you who would never complete your contractual agreements, thus giving Lord Denning the freedom to develop hundreds of Law principles, rules and exceptions, I say a beautiful goodbye. I repeat never again.
    And to unnecessary courses like Computer Science and Psychology we were forced to learn, I really hope someday I’d actually need to apply Python or Forensic psychology in a court case. 
    So here’s two years down and it’s been really great with my LLB’19 set. Really amazing people who make the five year journey worth it afterall, notwithstanding the hansards, Adiguns, Anifalajes, Contract I slyings, fake AOCs et al. 
    However, the truth is that I really do not know what next yet.

    When people ask,”So what aspect of Law do you want to go into?”, I usually want to scream “Hey! I’m just in Year 2. I basically just started studying Law”. 

    But now, I really do not have an excuse. It’s time to find who I am in LAW. 

    ρя£sђ¥  ℓąℓą

    To me and to you 

    For Cannon, who taught me I can never be anyone else

    Dear Tee,

    Isn’t it funny how time’s so fast, yet so slow? Those nights under the moon with Aunt A where we argued what we wanted to be. 

    You’d say, “I want to be a scientist. Then I’d cure HIV AIDS”  

    I’d say, “I want to be a doctor” … Because I already used Nurse and Lawyer the week before. 

    Those nights where we dreamt little dreams of a future so far, it felt it’d never come. 
    Tee, the future is here and I’m dead tired, exhausted… Pretending I’m stronger than the demons around me. I planned to write this on my birthday tomorrow, I’d finally be an adult – not Common Law standards. Yet, I’m scared if I wait I’d remain lost then and if I’m lost as an adult, I’d probably be lost forever. 
    I’m scared it’d be like my sixteenth birthday, I waited for a difference there was none. She wasn’t taller, fatter, smarter. It was like she was still fifteen. 
    I think I’ve finally figured who I want to be. After years of following your dreams and living your goals, I think I’m now me, who I’m supposed to be. 

    Truth is, you were the “Taiwo” and I, the “Kehinde”. Testing the waters with both legs was your job and mine to follow your steps after. 

    Now I know I’d never be able to sing as good as you do and I’d be kicked out of any band, replaced with that cute Mary y’all wanted to date. 

    Dancing and drawing, they’re not for me. So I’d quit mimicking your dance moves and tracing out your artwork, blaming God for creating me talentless. 

    Rapping, creative writing, extrovertism, adult conversation – you did them all flawlessly. You were even a mini god at breaking rules while I never had the confidence to do same. 

    Truth is, you were my real role model – not mum, dad or Dora Akinyuli. I’d believe your theory over Albert Einstein’s, were you ever wrong? 

    That first class in LLT Law where Mrs Olomola asked, “Why did you choose to study Law?” 

    Eyes tightly closed, heart raised to the highest of the heavens, I prayed she called me not. 

    How would I explain that I’m studying Law because Tee chose to study Law and his steps, I follow. 

    Now ‘Mamami’  is a little adult with her own goals, dreams and aspirations. 

    I’ve decided I would no longer wait for you test the waters anymore. I’d make my own decisions and pay my own consequences. I’m ready to take risks, make sacrifices and rebel life standards, though many years late. 

    Yet, I want to run to your room in tears screaming, “I can’t take it anymore, Law is hard and life’s harder!!”

    Then in my head I see that look on your face saying silently, 

    “Hey, don’t get mushy on me that’s the number 1 rule. Stay strong, only weak people cry. Fight those battles while I seat and wait. I’d only come in when it gets too hard but the number 2 rule remains that nothing must be too hard for you”

    So I turn back in feigned braggadocio, pretending I have a plan to overcome life’s uncertainties. 

     I’d pretend I’m fine and close my eyes shut when that throbbing headache drives me dizzy and tries to force out those forbidden salty liquid from my eyelids. 

    I’d pretend I’m ready for my exams in the next three weeks when all I see is blurred images. 

    I’d pretend I’m not scared that after starting so well, I might not give mom and dad their big first class Lawyer dream. 

    I’d pretend I’m not scared of the Law school grading system. 

    I’d pretend I’m not scared that after seven years of studying Law, I’d just end up as one of the Law graduates without a name to be remembered. 

    I’d pretend I’m not scared I’m getting old too fast and yet too slow. 

    I’d pretend I’m not scared about yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

    So I’d just pretend I can fight my demons alone and on my own. 

    Presh, the tired and scared dreamChaser 

    About to begin a new phase; still the same, yet changed. 

    She Conquered One

    There’s no more beautiful feeling than finishing a project you started – finally getting a degree, seeing an excellent examination result, dotting the last sentence of a writeup, ending a successful tenure.. I could go on. 

    Today my fellowship’s Evangelism week came to an end and I’m so glad it went so well. Of course, God started it and finished it. 

    Few months back, I slowly started regretting accepting the responsibility of coordinating Evangelism. 

    What do I know about preaching to people? 

    I don’t even know the Bible so much 

    I solemnly promised myself:

    Next year Precious you’re rejecting any such duty. You’re not ready for leadership. 

    But hey, She came, she saw, she conquered… Yaaay. 

    I decided to make out a list of things I learnt from taking out this position:

    • We Judge too fast: I pride myself in being understanding and empathic of people’s decisions and actions. I’m that annoying friend that would make excuses for the person you’re ranting to me about. Turns out, I’m not as understanding afterall. During one of the Evangelism rounds, I paired people to go visiting and I personally picked my partner randomly. While we were leaving together, she started speaking in Jenifaric  English and I could feel my tummy suppress and my chest constrict – I couldn’t breathe anymore. If you don’t know, mimicking Jenifa is one thing I do not like. I began to regret my partner choice.

    She kept on talking about everything and anything and when she started criticising a particular religious sect I decided I didn’t like her one bit (don’t judge me for judging her hun). Then she stopped to buy corn and told the woman, “Enikan duro de wa”, which means there’s someone waiting for us. My brain screamed, “Liar! We’re going to evangelize.” 

    Turns out, this girl really is an amazing, deep Christian. I was wrong, judged her too fast, disliked her too early and I’m glad I met someone so cool. 

    • There are beautiful People– What else can I use to describe people who sacrificed time, money, energy and their all to make the week a success? Members of my fellowship who had so many obligations including final year students with projects and a friend with swollen eyes. They supported all through and helped to bring smiles on people’s faces. And my amazing classmates who gave out despite the recession for the orphanage visit, Sighs! Beautiful people everywhere. 
      • Leadership involves sacrifice: At this moment, I’m tempted to shout “I swear”.  There were points I got frustrated of life dealing me hard blows of stress and moments I had to forgo certain important events to me.  

      Had to ask Chi, “Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I was just a student, no church excoship, no LSS position, no L and D, no chess and  every other thing I’m engaged  in I can’t remember rn. Would I be happier? Better academically? Less stressed and worried?”
      He says, “I don’t think *YOU* would. Almost certain you would be more stressed n worried…”  (directly copied from whatsapp) 

      Of course, he’s right. I’d die of doing nothing. 

      I think the greatest test of Leadership wasn’t just my trying so hard to arrive before anyone else (I ended up failing though) but was at the Orphanage visit today. 

      Am I a hypocrite for shrinking back for a few seconds when that little skinny kid with sores and scars ran to hug me before I carried him up? 

      Am I pitiful for being scared I’d catch a disease when the sicklooking kids touched me? 

      Am I weak for needing one very big hug in the presence of suffering and pain? 

      Is it disappointing that I cried when I should have stood tall like the view of underfed sick children didn’t faze me? 

      I do not know. I’m still learning to be a leader. 

      ρя£sђ¥  ℓąℓą

      What If (Revised Edition/Honourable Mention Entry SMC July) 

      Hello beautiful people! How has life been treating you? Hope you’ve been chasing those big dreams of yours, 2016 is still tagged DreamChasing and it’s not over until it’s over.

      I got a honourable mention for my entry on Storried. Turns out I got a mail since August which I never read (Who else scrolls swiftly through their mails without checking them?) and I got published on their  website without even realizing it. 

      While I was disappointed about so many things going wrong, this sure came at the right time and I really appreciate Storried for being people of integrity and taking so much effort to contact me. Continue reading

      Faith Storms 

      Faith is a fragile thing. On Sunday the preacher kept declaring that “Faith isn’t about feelings but what the Word of God says”. 

      I remember nodding my head in total agreement. It sounded purely logical – our belief in the existence of God isn’t about feelings either. I was sure I’d always be confident in God come what may.

      How then do you tell this to a girl who prayed hard and believed so much despite the fact that are exams went really bad and ended up seeing a very awful result. Or that mother who believed so much for a healing notwithstanding what medical reports said and ended up losing her young daughter.

      Continue reading

      My Father

      My fist shook resentfully as I heard the words, “Let Winner go”.
      He knew how much I hated going outside the house yet insisted on being inconsiderate. The morning newspaper before him with his glasses perched on his nose looking like the beak of an eagle, I badly wanted to stab his heartless heart over and over and gleefully watch his blood ooze out painfully from his lifeless body. Continue reading